The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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