Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
