coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
