What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
