How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
