oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
