I'm jealous of your bromance
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
