BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize