Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
