You really coming over, don't trick.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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