I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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