I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
