i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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