I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
