Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize