Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
