You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
