So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
