I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my being single is dangerous.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she peed on how many people?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize