Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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