Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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