Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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