to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
