It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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