do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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