I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
