I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
