oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
