i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
