Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
