jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
