I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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