He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize