my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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