Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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