Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
