Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
