My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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