Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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