I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
