Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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