Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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