I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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