Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
