I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
