dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
