Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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