Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
