i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
time to smoke my breakfast
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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