Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
