i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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