I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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