today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize