you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
