so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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