Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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