i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize