hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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