Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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