Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im holly from the hills drunk
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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