before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
