Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
