I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
