Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
