Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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