just come out here and I will go home with you...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There r osticjed everywhere
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
