we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
