Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
