I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
