dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
