I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
