Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize