the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Someone came in the potted fern
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
