Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
