How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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