I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
