ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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