Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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